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THE WORLD I LIVE IN
the world opens it's eyes to me,
the world turns away.
the world starves itself at night,
the world binges by day.
the world i live in is strange to me,
nothing makes any sense,
you cant tell anyone anything,
without having them feel tense.
freaks are freaks, geeks are geeks,
and cool people will always be cool,
if no ones ever made fun of you,
then you've never been to school.
  THE GIFT

the word shows it recognition,
by giving expensive gifts,
as if it's no codition,
of what the event is.
and the meaning is lost,
in all that is recieved,
in the giving of a toy,
because on thatn day,
a baby was concieved.
when will people learn,
that it is not the gift that matters,
or the things that are brought forth,
and presented on silver platters?
as if a hug means no more,
than a slap in the face,
because this is something,
a gift is meant to replace.
an dmoney is the essence,
because it will show you,
how much your loved, by those who give,
yes, this is what people do,
and this is how were all expected to live.
why do you expect me,
to acceot this gift now?
because it is the occasion,
that calls for it to be allowed.
and you know you dont need to,
buy me anything at all,
and you know,
i would be just as happy,
to recieve a 'special-occasion-phone-call'.
but we cant do that in this world,
and those who do are considered cheap,
their the ones with nothing to show,
their the ones with nothing to reep.
and you wonder why were all caught up,
in our own material-filled-lives,
and we take these meaningless objects
for granted,
but they mean so much,
to those who strive.

FATALIST


IM NOT SURE IF ANYONE CAN LOVE ANYONE ELSE ANYMORE.
I ONEC BELIEVED I WAS THE MOST UNDERSTANDING PERSON IN EXISTANCE.
NOW THAT I'VE NUMBED MYSELF, WHO IS THERE TO LOVE? WHO IS THERE TO FEEL?
NO ONE. NO ONE LOVES. NO ONE FEELS.
NO ONE CARES ABOUT ANYONE BUT THEMSELVES.
I'VE BUILT A WALL. I'VE BUILT A CAVE.
NOTHING SEEMS TO KEEP THEM OUT.
NOTHING MAKES THEM GO AWAY.
NOTHING I TRY EVER WORKS.
AND NOTHING GOES AS PLANED.
YOU CANT KILL YOURSELF,
IF YOU DONT KNOW WHERE YOU'LL GO.
YOU CANT WELCOME DEATH,
IF YOU KNOW YOUR GOING TO HELL.
YOU CANT PASS TIME WITHOUT TIME.
YOU CANT ENTERTAIN YOURSELF WITH NOTHING TO DO.
FOR SOME PEOPLE, YELLING MAKES THEM HAPPY.
FOR SOME PEOPLE LOVE TO CONTROL.
I DONT PROMOTE EITHER METHOD.
BUT IF YOUR WILLING TO GIVE IT UP,
I'LL CLAIM YOUR SOUL.
  CIRCUS FLEAS

THE CARS GOING BY DOWN BELOW,
LOOK LIKE CIRCUS FLEAS TO ME,
AS THEY SLOWLY MAKE THEIR DECENT,
I WONDER IF ANYBODY UNDERSTANDS,
I WONDERED, IF THEY EVER THOUGHT,
'WHATIS IT SHE REALLY MEANT?'.
A LEAKY FOSIT DRIPS INTO A SINK,
LIKE TIME GOING BY REAL SLOW,
OR THE SOUND OF THE TICKING CLOCK,
ONE DAT THOSE DRIPS WILL BE IN THE LAKE,
AND THEY'LL BLEND IN WITH THE REST,
SEEN BY THE PERSON STANDING ON THE DOCK.
THOUGHTS OF YOU FLASH BEFORE MY EYES,
LIKE THE COLOURS OF A T.V. SCREEN,
OR AN EXPECTANT MOTHER, WAITING TO SEE HER CHILD,
BUT WHEN THAT BABY GROWS UP,
IT WILL BE STUBORN, IT WILL BE RESTLESS,
AND IT WILL BE WILD.
SO HERE I WONDER, WHAT IS IT ALL FOR?
WHY CANT I MAKE UP MY MIND?
WHY CANT I JUST BE SATISFIED?
BECAUSE I ONCE HAD A PET,
I LOVED IT TO DEATH,
AND THEN, ONE DAY IT DIED.

DONT BLINK


YOU WONT TALK TO ME ABOUT THE SUBJECT,
YOU JUST GENTLY PUSH IT ASIDE,
EVEN THOUGH IT'S ALWAYS ON YOUR MIND,
COULD THAT BE, BECAUSE YOU LIED?
I JUST PUSH IT OUT OF MY HEAD,
PRETEND IT'S NO EVEN THERE,
I SUPPOSE THAT WOULD COME EASY FOR YOU,
IT'S SIMPLE WHEN YOU DONT CARE.
BUT IT'S NOT SO SIMPLE,
COMING FROM SOMEONE
WHO DOSNT KNOW WHAT TO THINK,
YOU THINK IT'S SO EASY,
WHEN YOU COME AFTER ME,
AND EXPECT ME NOT TO BLINK.
SO YOU THINK YOU CAN SIT THERE,
AND SAY WHATEVER YOU WANT,
BECAUSE IT'S NOT YOUR PROBLEM,
IT'S NOT YOU THAT IT'S GOING TO HAUNT.
AND YOU CLAIM YOU FEEL THE SAME,
YOU CLAIM TO LOVE YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY,
BUT YOUR A FOOL TO BELIEVE,
THAT FOR A DAMNED SECONED,
YOU EVER LOVED ME.
AND YOU CHALLENGE ME,
AS IF I HAVE NO TALENT,
BUT WHY SHOULD I PROVE ANYTHING TO YOU?
AND YOUR SO NARROW-MINDED,
YOU STICK TO WHAT YOU SAY,
I GUESS IT'S ALL YOU HAVE TO WORK WITH,
'CAUSE IT'S ALL YOU REALLY KNOW.
  PERMINANTLY UNWANTED

YOU ARE GUILE, AT IT'S BEST,
YOUR FULL OF SELFISHNESS AND DECIET.
AND WHEN IT'S COLD AND BITTER OUTSIDE,
YOU SAY 'I CANT STAND THE HEAT'.
YOU HAVE DAGGERS FOR EYES,
AND A PREVARICATING TOUNG,
YOUR BODY IS OLD,
BUT YOUR MIND IS STILL VERY YOUNG.
YOUR HAPPY, ONLY WHEN IM EMOTIONALLY DEFENSLESS,
BUT YOU ARE VENGEFUL, AND YOU ARE RELENTLESS.
YOUR LIKE A WOLF IN SHEEPS CLOTHING,
'CAUSE YOU STABBED ME IN THE BACK,
YOU CUT OFF MY HEAD,
AND NAILED IT TO A PLACK.
YOU DANCE AROUND MY LIFELESS BODY,
AT NIGHT WHEN NO ONE WILL SEE,
YOU SING YOUR HAPPY FREEDOM SONG,
IN CONTENTMENT AND GLEE.
IM HAPPY RIGHT NOW,
YOU JUST DONT KNOW IT,
AND IM GLAD THAT YOUR NOT HERE,
YOUR PROBABLY OUT WITH YOUR FRIENDS RIGHT NOW,
YOUR PROBABLY OUT HAVING A BEER.
YOU THINK IM LED BY OTHERS,
WELL YOUR CORRUPTION AT ITS BEST,
YOU LEAD ON THAT YOU LOVE ME,
IM JUST YOUR PERMINANTLY UNWANTED GUEST.

TO KNOW YOU


WHY MUST YOU WRITE POETRY ABOUT ME?
QUOTE ME, DEFERENCE ME?
AM I THAT WORTHY TO YOU?
YOU BELIEVE I DESERVE YOU?
YOU DESERVE ME?
YOU WANT TO KNOW ME.
IS IT SAFE FOR ME TO KNOW YOU?
WILL YOU NEGLECT ME?
THAY ALL DO.
IN THE END YOU WILL HATE ME.
ANNIHILATE ME.
DESTROY ME, IN ANY WAY YOU CAN.
HUMANS ARE RABID DOGS,
IN A GUILDED CAGE.
ONCE THEY GET OUT,
YOUR GONE.
I'D LIKE TO TELL YOU
THAT I LOVE YOU,
BUT I KNOW
TWO MONTHS FROM NOW,
I'LL BE TELLING YOU
I DONT KNOW WHO YOU ARE.